


Phantom

by MusicismySoulmate



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, References to Depression, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 09:59:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17958359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicismySoulmate/pseuds/MusicismySoulmate
Summary: Post Halloween 1981. Inspired by the song Phantom by Nightly.“In a dream I’m slow dancing with your ghost. Feel your touch, wake up and I’m all alone … You haunt me like a phantom.”





	Phantom

**Author's Note:**

> Characters belong to J.K. Rowling. This is my own work, any likeness to any other work is coincidental.

_James and Lily’s wedding reception was a blur of food, drinks and dancing. Remus and Sirius had kept their distance from each other for most of the day, partly because of Sirius’ part in the bridal party keeping him busy and partly to avoid the reactions they were sure to get from certain members of Lily’s family. As the night wore on however, his inhibitions significantly lowered. Armed with the knowledge that most of the older crowd had already bid their goodbyes to the newlyweds, he began thinking of ways he could sneak his boyfriend away without drawing too much attention._

_The sight of Sirius in his fitted muggle suit had been driving him crazy all day, and he began to imagine all the things he would do to get him out of it once they got home._

__

_He was currently sitting alone at a table on the edge of the dance floor seeking out his boyfriend’s face in the crowd. He catches sight of Sirius currently leading one of Lily’s cousins—or muggle friends, around the dance floor. Remus smirks watching the ease in which Sirius moves. Though he would loathe to admit it, Sirius looked every bit the part of pureblood heir._

_Sirius’ dancing partner was blushing and giggling at something he had just said and Remus remembers that she was one of the group of girls he had overheard earlier who had been placing bets on who would be leaving the reception with the best man. Just then Sirius catches his eye and Remus allows his eyes to shamelessly roam over his boyfriend’s form, enjoying the sight of his ass in the tight pants._

_“Nice Arse” he mouths when their eyes connect again and Sirius winks in response. The dance ends and Sirius does a dramatic bow, kissing the girl’s hand. He looks up at Remus._

_“Such a flirt” he mouths._

_“You love it” Sirius mouths back, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Remus just rolls his eyes._

__

_Sirius disappears back through the crowd towards the bar and then reappears a few moments later holding two champagne flutes. Remus can almost feel the lust filled eyes of the women in the room following Sirius’ path across the hall._

__

_Then he catches Remus’ eyes, and his face lights up. He hears an intake of breath from behind him—a couple of Lily’s cousins whom Sirius had danced with earlier in the evening, obviously hoping that he was heading their way. A secret smile crosses Remus’ lips with the knowledge that the handsome man only had eyes for him._

__

_Sirius slides into the chair next to him, setting the flutes in front of Remus, and placing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth._

__

_“Alright love?” he breathes in his ear._

__

_“I can actually hear their hearts breaking” Remus murmurs under his breath._

__

_“Hmmm?”_

__

_“I know for a fact at least two of Lily’s relatives were hoping to go home with you tonight. I think there was even a pool going. They are going to be so disappointed,” he teases._

__

_Sirius chuckles, “I’m already going home with the most gorgeous creature here tonight.”_

__

_His words are said close to Remus’ ear, his hot breath fans across his cheek, and Remus feels a blush heating his face, a shiver of pleasure running down his spine._

__

_“Everyone else is merely a distraction from the fact that I haven’t been able to touch you all day. Haven’t kissed you. Haven’t even told you how incredibly sexy you look in that suit.”_

__

_Remus takes a sharp intake of breath through his teeth, and tries to will his body to relax, suddenly feeling too hot and constricted by the tight fit of his own suit. He didn’t dare risk a glance around the room to see if anyone was scrutinizing the two men sitting a little too close, knowing his face would give them both away._

__

_“You know,” Sirius continued, their conversation still in hushed tones, a secret between them, “I could snog you senseless right now and then there would be absolutely no doubts where my affections lie.”_

__

_Sirius’ hand had found its way to his thigh, and he began tracing small circles with his thumb, slowly moving his hand up Remus’ leg sending shockwaves straight to his groin._

__

_“Let them continue to wonder,” Remus breathes. “Just know how much I want to get you out of those clothes. It should be illegal to look as fuckable in a suit as you do right now.”_

__

_Sirius sucks in a breath that is tinted with a high pitch whine and Remus looks over to meet his lovers’ eyes. His pupils are blown and Remus can imagine his look the same._

__

_He swallows the moan that he feels rising in his own throat and places his hand atop Sirius’, stopping his ministrations on his thigh, and entwining their fingers. Even the brief contact was fogging Remus’ brain and he didn’t know if his self control would win out if he let Sirius continue. “Later,” Remus whispers, answering the unasked question._

__

_After a couple moments of contented silence, Sirius breathes out a request, “Save me a dance?” Remus searches his face and the simple request is so earnest and honest after their passionate exchange that Remus knows he can’t refuse him.  
......_

__

_“I asked the DJ for one more song,” Sirius says as he pulls Remus to his feet and leads him to the middle of the dance floor. Remus takes a quick glance around the room, but no one seems to be paying them any attention. The room is almost empty, workers clearing tables, James and Lily bidding the last of the guests goodbye and some of their Hogwarts friends in the corner laughing at some story Peter seemed to be telling._

__

_As the opening notes play Remus allows himself to be pulled right into Sirius’ chest as he leads him around the dance floor. Every nerve ending is suddenly alive and he is acutely aware of every point of contact between them, from their chests down through their hips, and he feels his cock twitch in response._

__

_“So don’t forget who’s taking you home and in whose arms you’re going to be.” Sirius sings as they sway to the music, “Darling save the last dance for me.” He catches Remus’ lips in a heated kiss, and the whole world fades from view._

__

.......

__

It had been a while since Remus had not woken from a nightmare. War had taken so many things from him, so to find himself waking up calm and relaxed and not in a panic was a welcome change. He was half hard already from the dream he had just woken from and moved to press against Sirius’ back. He rolled over towards the middle of the bed and reached for his lover blindly.

__

“I had such a good dream Pads,” he murmured. “Prongs’ wedding, and after. Would you care to reenact it with me?” 

__

His hands were groping air, the other side of the bed empty and cold, and he finally opened his eyes. The early morning light was creeping in from the edges of the curtains, but provided just enough light to confirm Sirius’ absence. He sat up and stared at the empty side of the bed trying to comprehend, and in his sleep addled state, it took him a few more minutes for his brain to fully catch up. Sirius wasn’t here and he never would be again. 

__

The realisation filled his stomach with lead. A sob threatened to rip out of him coming out strangled and angry. He fell back against his pillows with a quavering sigh, tears staining his cheeks. He still couldn’t fully comprehend all the recent changes in his life. James and Lily were gone, Peter supposedly murdered, and all because of Sirius... 

__

**No!** He shuddered. He couldn’t even think the words. He still refused to believe that Sirius was guilty. He had begged and pleaded with Dumbledore following Sirius’ arrest, but over and over the conclusion had been the same. Sirius had been the Secret Keeper. No one else could have given up their location to Voldemort. 

__

But Remus couldn’t reconcile the man he knew and loved with the man they were painting Sirius to be. If what they claimed was true, then Remus must certainly have been completely blind to everything he thought he had with Sirius. Every kiss, every embrace, it was all a lie. 

__

His memories were now littered with ghosts, both literal and figurative and he felt haunted by them both in waking and now in sleeping. He could practically feel Sirius’ hands on him before he had woke and now it was like a phantom presence hovering all around him. It was like he had lost a limb, and in a way hadn’t he? 

__

For so long the other man had been his other half. His friend, confidante, lover. So much of what he was, was wrapped up with Sirius and without him he felt lost. What was worse, he had no one else to turn to to help him figure out how to move forward. All his friends had been taken by the war and he felt truly alone. 

__

Silent tears were flowing down his cheeks as he stared at the thin strips of light creeping across the ceiling as the sun steadily rose outside. His body felt heavy and he imagined the bed just swallowing him whole. 

__

He knew he would eventually have to leave the bed— _their_ bed, and move on. He just wished he could see Sirius, speak to him, reconcile the man he knew with the man now in Azkaban. Perhaps the easiest way to move on would be to just push all those shared memories aside, lock them in a box in his brain, and shield himself from the pain they brought. He would get up and work to rebuild a life for himself, but not today. 

__

Today he would allow himself to drown in the memories; release all his anger, frustration, heartbreak. Push it all out of his body until he was empty, his body void of Sirius Black.

__

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to my roommates who beta'd this work for me.


End file.
